He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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