Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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