He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize