i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize