If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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