hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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