How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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