I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
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I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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