I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
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I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
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You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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