So drunk its hurt
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize