On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize