Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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