Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
jump out the window naked night went bad
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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