But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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