I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Damn victory sex feels great
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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