2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize