I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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