forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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