she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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