Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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