i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
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did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
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Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
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