i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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