Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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