Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize