dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize