none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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