When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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