apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
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We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
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lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize