Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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