dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
As shirtless as possible
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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