So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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