Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
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So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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