FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
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We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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