We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
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He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize