Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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