wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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