I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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