idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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