Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize