Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize