What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I cannot find my penis.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Fuck appropriateness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize