i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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