But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize