He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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