I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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