i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize