I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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