he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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