I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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