Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
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Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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