On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
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I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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